“Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor’s Story” Lynn C. Tolson blog

I went back to school in my forties to use the college resources to research the correlation between sexual assault and suicide attempts. Missouri Western State University, Department of Social Work and Sociology.  Suicide is not (in and of itself) a psychiatric condition: it is an extreme reaction to extreme human conditions. Basically, those who have been sexually abused are 14 times more likely to attempt suicide. Here is a synopsis of the research, which appeared as an article in the National Association of Social Workers, Missouri Chapter Newsletter.

Sexual Assault as an Antecedent to Suicide Attempts:

A Synopsis From Academic Research

by Lynn C. Tolson, BSW

This article is adapted from research and a presentation conducted by the author at the annual Social Work Institute at Missouri Western State University, Saint Joseph, MO. The purpose of this article is to discuss the relationship between sexual assault and suicide attempts. Research has focused on sexual assault or suicide attempts but few study sexual assault as a precursor to suicide attempts. Although sexual assault occurs across all classes, races, and ethnic groups, rape is the only crime where women are the majority victims. Furthermore, statistics show that females attempt suicide more often than males. Thus, the trauma of a sexual assault may be a precursor to a suicide attempt.

The confluence of factors leading to suicide obscures a path that may possibly point to an attempter’s history as a victim of sexual assault. Since suicide attempts are not crimes and drug overdoses may or may not be intentional, it makes it even more difficult to determine which, if any, suicide attempts are related to sexual assault.

Counselors screen for suicide risk by determining previous attempts, which is a primary indicator of future attempts. In suicide, the closest diagnosis is depression. Clinicians recognize that a suicidal client may present with symptoms of depression, such as fatigue, over-or under-eating, inability to focus, and/or sleeping too little or too much. However, the underlying cause of a victim’s distress must be considered, instead of merely treating a symptom, such as depression. Counselors may consider that a sexual assault history be included when screening for suicide by asking, “Has anyone touched you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable?” This questioning occurs only after the counselors have determined that the client has adequate coping skills and support systems. Follow-up services on the sexually assaulted and/or the suicidal are necessary to prevent an ultimate suicide.

Difficulties arise when victims do not report rapes even in the privacy of a counseling session. In some cases, the victim may not remember the assault, if, perhaps, she had been drugged and passed out. The victim may not reveal for other reasons, such as being blamed for the assault, fearing retaliation from the attacker, or public humiliation. Many survivors of sexual assault may believe rape myths. One such myth is that the typical rapist is a stranger to the victim. In fact, studies revealed the prevalence of date rape and/or acquaintance rape.

Counselors in the community (Saint Joseph, MO) appear to be doing all that they can given the lack of resources to meet the needs. Yet an inadequacy of services may cause individual victims of sexual assault to suffer in isolation and/or to cry out for help in the context of suicide attempts. Services intended to prevent, intervene, and treat sexual assault and/or suicide are inadequate due to lack of funding and staffing. This is unfortunate, given that the need for early rape and suicide prevention programs are necessary prior to adolescence. Agencies should start early in prevention via awareness in the community, and stay long in treating the survivor via support groups.

Churches, schools, and family/community centers may be appropriate avenues for increasing awareness. These institutions must be aware of the rape myths and facts in order to serve victims with knowledge and care. In addition, community members must be mindful of the risk factors associated with suicide to prevent completed suicides.

Society perpetuates stigmas pertaining to suicide and rape; these stigmas cast a code of silence that solves neither problem. The silence limits the study of correlations between sexual assault and suicide attempts. The limits of research diminish public awareness of social issues. However, sexual assault and/or suicide attempts are not merely private matters, but are indeed public issues. I suggest that it is necessary to increase knowledge about these issues, decrease the cost to society in human potential, and take long-term action to treat the sexually assaulted and/or suicide attempters. Adequate services and awareness opportunities for both men and women must be available to intervene, treat, and support victims.

Ample resource material is available by and for professionals (and survivors) seeking information on sexual assault. However, no matter how much literature is available on the social problems of suicide attempts and sexual assault, few true-life stories of recovery are available. Therefore, as the author of Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor’s Story, I made public my private journey of recovery. I reveal my struggle as a survivor of sexual assault, including incest (indeed, family members are not strangers.) The reader of Beyond the Tears is privy to the counseling sessions I engaged in after a suicide attempt. By bringing my dark secrets to light, it is my hope that others who have had similar events will know that they are not alone. Readers may also explore their own emotions to open lines of communication, eliminate shame, and experience healing. I also hope that my book promotes understanding of the issues that cause individual suffering and plaque our society. An additional benefit of this book is that any clinician will see how another counselor made a difference in the author’s life.

For information and resources visit RAINN: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network

Provoked: A True Story

(from the DVD jacket) “Kiranjit, a young Indian woman, marries Deepak, an expatriate living in London. She abandons plans for college to be a wife and mother. She spends the next several years suffering his physical, mental, and sexual abuse. Her attempt at retaliation lands her in jail for murder, but a group of activists works to tell her story and win her freedom. This is based on a powerful true story.

Regina vs Ahluwaleaâ became the monumental court case that changed the nature of British law forever. It affords the Provocation Defence, the acceptance of Battered Woman’s Syndrome, as a legal state of mind in accordance with defendants who have suffered extended physical, emotional, and sexual abuse at the hands of a spouse.

In 2001, Kiran jit Ahluwalen was honored by the Prime Minister Tony Blair’s wife Cherrie Booth with the Asian Woman role model award for courage.”

This is a story of a SHero who is victorious over domestic violence.

Lori R. Lopez

The Turnaround

Following disasters

Unnatural, Man-wrought

The road to survival is eternal

Arduous, rubble-fraught

The aftermath and trauma

Need a lifetime to mend

For such wounds run so deep

That the scars have no end

Only in screaming

Can the bottomless numbth be released

From a dungeon of exile

Where emotions have ceased

Where Justice is deaf

And abusers untried

Thus the victim has kept

Blame and suffering inside

Yet these chains can we obliterate

Hearts and Truth set free

When the silence is broken

From you to me

Transformations will ripple

Forge links more profound

From sharing to caring

We can all turnaround.

Copyright 2009 Lori R. Lopez

trilllogicinnoventions.com

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lori-R-Lopez/16277817837

Lavender Power Survivors Hall of Success-ors

Inspiring Role Models to Watch

If you are a survivor of domestic abuse and/or sexual assault, recovery can seem impossible and beyond your grasp. Although the challenges you are experiencing are difficult, MILLIONS OF WOMEN are achieving a healthy rewarding life. Your recovery path doesn’t have to be perfect, only that your challenges do not derail you off your purpose to redefine your life on your own terms.

Telling your story through your arts and talents is not only an excellent healing tool but also survivors have propelled their careers into huge success bringing our rich history of thriving to music, television, theater, books, and movies.

Lynn C. Tolson says: “I am often asked why I wrote such a revealing memoir. We are accustomed to keeping our secrets, hiding our flaws, and stuffing our feelings. After all, what will people think of us?”

The truth is, it took me twenty years to write my story. When I was in my twenties, my therapist told me I had a story to tell that would help others to find hope. However, it was not until my forties, when another therapist offered the same suggestion, that I took it seriously. I wrote what has become Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor’s Story, which chronicles my personal counseling sessions. I was motivated to publish by the concept that the problems I discussed in therapy are universal. My desire to encourage others to seek healing became greater than my need to remain private.

Interview questions/answers from the newsletter re: Missouri Coalition Against Sexual Abuse

Q) Why did you decide to write a book? Was it difficult writing about such a personal story?
A) (Lynn C. Tolson) The book [Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story] began by putting pen to paper in journal writing sessions. Themes emerged regarding the ramifications of sexual abuse, like drug addiction and suicide attempts. Eventually, a story of transformation to wholeness evolved. Journal writing was a cathartic experience. However, writing the book was difficult because I had to find the courage to face my fears: What would others think? What would my family think? But my conviction to tell the truth became greater than the difficulty of writing a personal story. I realized that I was writing about personal yet universal issues. My desire to share a message of healing from trauma became too strong to ignore; the book became my mission despite the difficulty. Sexual assault, addiction, and suicide are unsolved social problems that carry stigmas. The stigmas cast a code of silence that do not solve problems. The result from not speaking about the crime of sexual assault is too often tragic. Thus, there is a need for real stories of recovery. By bringing my dark secrets to light, it is my hope that others who have had similar events will know that they are not alone.